page 332 of 365 book 2016

Assalamualaikum..

my dad is awesome.

i should had exam on last friday but my doc postpone it to next monday..
which next week i should be holiday for A week and next holiday is end march.
i hadn't back since march (this including eidfitri & eidadha).

i made two mistake.
first,
i focus on theory, forget about my case. i go through my case but not on the history and physical examination of my patient which i jump up to the radiology finding and focus on that only since now i'm in radiology department.
when doc ask me to "BACA" and the only thing i remember the patient is SESAK. i cant describe for how long she been through and her others symptoms. i went blank.totally forget about her.
and  then doc give chance for me to read again and later she ask.

second,
i go through the case and already remember. i sing to her. when the raadiology part she open my assg n figure out a blur photo of radiology(it was blur since we photostat that). this is the time when she get annoyed with me and thought that i'm not serious for exam and ask me to come monday. *the sad part*
i do have another copies which is original copy with beautiful photo but she refuse to take it. she did ask me to tell my resident to call her "why did resident approve assg with blur photo"
i did notice my photo was blur but i didnt think of she will get mad because of this since my friends already pass with that photo. yeahh my SILLY mistake.

this happen in the beautiful blue sky morning. i cried a lot until i sleep at night. woke up at midnight cry again.the next morning im having pretibial oedema and headache.
i already bought plane ticket for saturday morning. cant cancel since it was less than 48 hours. plane ticket never cheap although the tag line now everybody can fly. i already ask mom money for the ticket. now, how should i ask her again for another ticket. i want to go home so bad. this is the only time i have.

i call home and my brother said that my dad is working. last time i call dad he said that he couldnt pickup me since he just start working on saturday. it was friday, thats mean my that change her shift to pick me up on saturday. *sadder than burning flight ticket*

and today my groupmate already flew home left me behind. i call dad and crying to him.
he said everybody going to face this sooner or later. dont think about them. focus on your exam.
how should i not think about them, evertime i want to study i remember they already pass while im stuck here. and before this they did help me in study. can i survive? im all alone tomorrow.
plus my holiday remains four day.
dad give good support and do understand me well.
im sorry dad for make u change your shift without coming back :(

this is my second time im so down.
first time was my repeating bmd block.

i know this should make me stronger and i should redho and berlapang dada.
but still i cant stop crying.:"((

pray for tomorow and so on.
i want to go home on tuesday pleaseeeee..